More on the drama mama

So my rules for being my MIL was a joke. I meant what I said, every damn word, but I didn’t want to the be the one to pull the trigger on cutting off contact with them. It was just my timing to post that and have it happen so quickly… my timing… go figure.

All in all. After the weeks since that lovely blowout and the discussions that followed with (my obviously) family, friends, co-workers, and heavy & deep conversations with A… I’m okay, he’s okay. We’re okay with the outcome. When discussing future trips back to lala-land, we’re okay not seeing them, not speaking to them, and not dealing with the bullshit. 

That’s all it is with them, total bullshit. I’ve complained to A before that he could talk to his family for hours, yet nothing was ever discussed. They could bash everyone around them but never looked at themselves and their behavior. The most common theme in our discussion, they could dish but couldn’t take and they could talk but never listened.

I love A, that’s why I married him. Since meeting, we’ve talked about our families and future family. Who we wanted to emulate and those that we agreed to beat each other up for acting like. A is a free spirited person and the psychology buff in me is amazed he made it out of that household without major visible damage. I saw it come out during that argument, the damage, stings of pain, and years of hurt, major betrayal, all of it. All of the negativity of growing up surrounded by toxic people who want nothing more than to bring down those around them in order to feel better about themselves. I still go back to the comments they made that MY family was the priority. Wishing I had spoken up rather than allowing A to stand up for me (which is RARE, because… who would he need to do that to that I would have in my life???). I wish I had held his hand and pointed to my son and said, “yes MY family, which includes your son and grandson, IS my priority and they are the most important people in my life” as they were bashing my loyalty to my family of origin and accusing A of disloyalty to his own.

We’ve been a calm household with few arguments (dinner plans can be a point of contention lol) since coming back from that trip. Our weekends have been relaxed and filled with fun and not dealing with any drama. It’s been fantastic.

In talking last night about the next trip A said something I didn’t expect but totally appreciate, “I wonder how pissed they would be to know that their attempts to divide us by bashing you and our relationship only brought us closer together?”.  My guess, pretty pissed.

Looking forward to a fun filled VACATION J