Rules for my MIL

My mother in law… my least favorite person. One time while A and I were dating she read this list off to me and made some highly inappropriate comments at dinner… I just saw it today online and it made me laugh to remember that occasion. Then I thought, time to make a new list, here is the original:

Rules for Dating my Son

1. He is not your ATM

2. If you show up to my house looking like a stripper, I will make you go away

3. If I see any “sexts” on his phone, I will make you go away

4. Understand that if I don’t like you, I will make you go away

5. Understand that I can make you go away

6. He’s a “Mama’s boy”. Unless you have a ring on your finger, your opinion does not matter

7. You are not in charge of him and it is not up to you change him. Take him for who he is, or see
rule #5

8. He is a gentleman. I taught him that. You better act like a lady and deserve that

9. I know how to avoid jail

10. If you weasel your way past all of these rules and fake your way to a ring on your finger, I will become something much worse than your boyfriend’s mom. I will be your mother-in-law.


Here is my revised list:

Rules for my Mother-In-Law

1. He is not your ATM, he has his own family to take care of and you have your husband.

2. If you show up to our home and make negative comments on our clothing, I will make you go away.

3. If you see any “sexts” on his phone you better put it down and pretend you saw nothing, you shouldn’t be looking through his phone anyways

4. Understand if you cross a boundary I will make you go away

5. Understand that I can make you go away

6. He’s a “Mama’s boy”, that’s for sure, but he’s my husband, your opinion no longer matters nearly as much as mine.

7. You are not in charge of him and it is not up to you to change him. Take him for who he is or see
Rule #5

8. He is becoming a gentleman, stop telling him not to open the door for you, act like a lady and deserve the treatment I’m having to teach him.

9. I know how to avoid federal detention as well (I also managed to make friends in high places so don't tempt me)

10. If you try to weasel your way into our relationship and do damage understand that I will become something much worse than your daughter in law, I’ll be the woman keeping your grandchild(ren) from you.