Keep in mind this is a rant post (ie - don't judge me as I judge others)
gah
"we" received a "gift" package from SOMEONE's mother. I shall not name names....
Contained in this flat rate crushed on every side box were the following items
*1 mag for a rifle
*1 gift bag with a sweater for A
*2 cans of menudo
*1 Mincemeat See's candy for me
*1 Nut Log See's treat for A
*stack of random mail
*2 newsletter for A's parents town
*1 Hallmark ornament
NOW let's discuss, or rant rather/complain about receiving these gifts (which is not like me, give me a bag of crap I'll probably treasure it forever, it's the motives behind it that I'm complaining about. If you're going to be a twat be a twat and don't send anything, I'd be happy, but now... I'm peeved)
Mag for the rifle. Normal I would be giddy over this type of "gift" however, one it's broke (spring is GONE), and two it doesn't fit -any- of our rifles (yes that's plural)
The sweater, yeah that's two sizes too big. In a phone call later the comment was made to A of "not sure if she knows how to do laundry so I thought it gave her room to shrink it" ... are you KIDDING me!?! Even if I shrunk it three times it would still be too big... when he replied with "She wouldn't and I don't even think it's possible to shrink it that much" the response I overheard was "WELL, maybe you'll fit into after she fattens you up with her cooking"... good Lord....
Menudo... It's an acquired taste, something you really need to grow up with or have no taste buds to enjoy. If you burn you're tongue give it a try and dont pay attention to the texture. If you grew up with it, you probably love it. I kinda wish I did cause everyone makes a big deal about how amazing it is. A loves it so there were two small cans of it and he's happy. So all is well there. yay, finally I think...
Mincemeat... I LOVE See's candy. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE IT (my fat thighs are proof of this)... everything that I can eat without dying (nut allergy). I made ONE comment at Easter about the only thing that I don't like from See's is the Mincemeat, not sure why I just don't like it. So the ONE thing in the box with my name on it... the mincemeat. I give up and try to give the benefit of the doubt thinking that maybe she just heard my one statement but then I remember the DEBATE about bad chocolate at Easter and how she didn't like it either and we were arguing with A about what was wrong with it.... SO no... no benefit of a doubt for her, that was a twat move.
Nut Log for A... good job something he'll eat. OMG NO there's an expiration date on it... Please people. Help me understand this insane woman!!! Chocolate takes FOREVER to hit it's expiration date, it's almost impossible. The date you ask??? Oh that would be March of 2011.... I almost died laughing when A tried eating it and gagged. I think he's realizing how messed up this woman is... and I (for one) find that to be hilarious.
Random Mail... I'm talking RANDOM mail, with NOTHING important, oh except that FAT envelope from his college transcript office that is fricking MARKED -subpoena- on the front of the envelope.... Turns out, those are part of a lawsuit against his former company, nothing we're worried about but seriously, that was a month ago. The corporation is asking for them for God only knows what reason. And they were in a batch with the most random "want to subscribe to this" kind of mail....
The newsletters, these are monthly little publications that are put out about community events, you know the ones you can pick up at your city hall. Full of fun information for the whole family, politics even.... on a monthly basis. On the front of one is a handwritten note that reads: "Thought you would enjoy keeping up on your home, at least now when you come back you won't be confused on any of the changes"... This is a MONTHLY newsletter that talks about walks in the park and booths/games for kids.... are you KIDDING me... so when you come back??? Is she expecting him to go "home" next month??? He read through them and I ask, "anything change?" response "NO, no clue why she wrote that, nothing changed it's all little kids sports stuff...." .... dear sweet sweet baby Jesus.
The hallmark ornament. from 2011!!!! I have re-gifted in my life, usually gift cards that I know someone else would like more than me... but I have never re-gifted something USED. This is a white ornament with the year 2011... even though its 2012 with the sticker that says FREE with purchase of 5 holiday cards... I'm all for being frugal, you get something free and give it to me that's -awesome-, but don't leave the damn sticker on there.
oh it gets better. A opens it and laughs, it's not just broken, it's been broken and REPAIRED... if that's what you want to call it. Super glue champions. There's even a piece of last years tree stuck to the back of it.
I was dying with laughter
Here's how I look at it.
She's a twat. I could say end of story but I can't really cause the person I love, loves her. I can either say "well she's a flipping bitch" throw a fit and rant to him about all of this (which he's already upset about cause HE'S seeing what she's doing)... OR I can vent online where it's not hurting anyone's feelings and I feel like it's off my chest so I don't verbally assault her the next time I see her (which will be at our wedding!)... or worse, do this kind of shit back to her....
I choose to vent. So I realize this is off subject from my normal North Dakota experience posts but I needed to vent it out.
And I thought MY mother was a twat....
Dear God, Please don't ever allow me to act the way those women do. Let me forever be honest, rude, loud and outspoken.
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